"I want to see you." He said with a period at the end of his words, as he left it up to me.

     Me and B' had been arguing on the phone for almost 20 minutes, and I can't for the life of me figure out why I keep, falling into his world.

  "I just wanna kiss your lips Dennis I miss you." his words bear hugged my heart, and left me there open and ready to fall into him again.

   I was hoping that the other line would beep, and remind me that B'  is old enough to be my father. But coinceidence was'nt so kind this time. Nope, this time I had to tell him "no" without blaming it on somthing else.

"Don't you wanna come over baby?"

  "Yes", I admitted.

  "So whats wrong, Dennis?"

 The Truth is the only thing that was wrong was the time. The time was the one thing wrong. The only thing wrong, and yet it made everything wrong.

 " B' I...I..really appreciate you. and your awsome, I love your mind.. you're always so calm and cool, and I'm just crazy I'm always in my head...and we compliment each other we really do bab-

   -"Then what's wrong?"he interjected "why can't I be your husband?"  his words wore the whimper of a puppy with a sore paw.

         "Because....you want to be my husband!".....everything was quite for about 2 seconds "B' I don't want a husband.!" I said, not beleiving the words that came out of my mouth.

  "B' I don't want that right now... I want a Boyfriend."

     "Well then I'll be your-"

         "-No you....you can't B', you can't be my boyfriend .......your ready for ......a ...big... thing.. your ready for it to be forever."

      That's when it hit me. The problem with me and B' is our ages. I came to late for him, and he has arrived to early for me. It would never work. We are looking through two complelty diffrent lenses of life.

       "Well ... whenever you decide your ready to come over..just call me..I'll hop in the truck and bring you over..I mean it's not a problem."... B'waited for my answer.

  "ok"..i said, even though I really wanted to say more.

    "Click." We got off the phone both knowing that was the last time we'd talk. I put my phone down, made blankets into a dark cave, and hid myself until 7am.

Yes, i Finally did it. I told B'our time was up.

        After an hour of napping I reach for my cell-phone that rested  beside me silenty on zero volume.

                 I pushed #1 to check the message that had been pending for about 20 minutes.

                     His voice sounded just as good as it was earlier today, when I let his words rock me to sleep.

                  " Yo wats up... it was nice talking to you and whatever... why aint you picking up your phone?

                        well anyway my boy is coming in from town and whatever, and ummm... we wanna know if you down for some fantasy type shit... me you and my boy. Now I know you just getting to know me and whatever so it's totally up to you. u would be the star it would be all about you... me and my boy just wanna know if you taste as good as you look... so ummm I mean hit me back and let me know so I can come get u...peace.."

     "click"

       wiped the feeling of "what the hell" from my eyes and thought to myself.

                                    "I don't know... am I capable of being that adventerous with my body?"

                                I looked down at the phone, and saw that is was lighting up Batman and Robin style.

                                         It was my boy G-money.

                                          "  G-Money guess what?" with morning breath at 3pm.

                                                       " What's goin on?" He asked

                                                                    "This Dude I met wants to do a 3-some!"

                                                                            mmmmm..... that's whats up... he says, as I hear dirty dishes being placed in his backround.

           "  But I don't even know him," I said in my "I'm a virgin "tone of voice.

                       " Honey you need to let your hair down....why you such a goody 2shoes? "

                                      "I am not a Goody 2 shoes." But as the words came out my mouth I began to wonder if I was lying to myself.

  After I got off the phone with G- Money, I let My finger Tap dance around the Phone as I wondered how I would desribe my sexual appettite. I mean I have had sex on the first date twice with two guys that both wanted more of me afterwards. And I called it off with both of them because i felt like sex was the preface when a kiss on the cheek should have been the opening page. That's when I realized it. Sex is great, but it will not be my first impression.

                  I dialed the dudes number after three rings he picked up and I said:

  "What's up man.... I was just calling to tell you that I'm not intrested in your preposal...I'm really not that kind of a guy." I felt proud of my words, and it felt good to be better than that.

                         " yo it's cool baby.". he said, with reassurrence... "I found a young boy that's down for it anyway.".. "no need to explain yourself." After all this his voice did'nt sound as sexy anymore.

                          I said: "OK... Well I guess where there's a will... there's a Gay...."

                                               " Click"

                  I layed my phone on my chest, and thank a God that I was not a dime a dozen...No i'm better than that. I'm a Goody 2 Shoes so come at me correct.

    My emotions recline of the couch of my thouhts, as I recline on the couch.

     My fingers slowly dance to the rhythm of silence.

   My Voice waits...My ears wait.

   My phone never rings to rescue me from the reality of my state.

         a fews days  ago  I made myself fall out of a summer love, and now am begining to throb.

   Not for what I had with him, but for somthing so much more. Love without the expiration tag on it's side, or the end date in mind.

 Love with out ten-commandments, or constitutional ammendments, or emancipation proclimations of any kind.

 Love with honest laughter, with geniune words, and selfless offerings of each other.

  My Phone will not ring and save me. My hero has yet to arrive. But I just want to...sip it...to have a taste of it...of Love. So I play lovesongs to hold me over...Love will be served to me one sweet day.